Last night on my own I went to this bar,
From my house and home it’s not very far.
Having a few drinks and a bit of laugh,
Serving the drinks were some sexy staff.
After a couple I was becoming quaint.
Telling me stories she was no saint.
A few hours later she said “come back to mine”,
Finally after all that talking, it’s about bloody time!
We got in a cab and she smiled and touched,
She whispered in my ear “I can’t wait to be fucked….”
We arrive at hers and we start to undress,
I am hugely drunk this I must confess.
My mind is ready but my solider is not,
Come on lad, she’s smoking hot!!!
She gives me this look of desire and hunger,
Then she says “I’m going to give you thunder”.
Pleasure and lust awaits,
But….this was not my fate.
I eventually passed out on the bed,
I woke in the morning and this is what she said.
“You were wonderful last night!”
And this is where I got my fright.
Surely I was incapable of performing?
Then I saw it and there was no ignoring..
My stomach had turned into a pit of sick,
Between her legs was a monstrous dick!
I screamed and I cried,
My anus now wide.
I limped on out as fast as I could,
Thinking about my ass and now the size of her wood.
From now on in I shall never drink out alone,
But to the world this story will never be known.