There is a tasty Turkey, and cooking it always causes a rift,
It can be found between Europe and the herby middle-east.
The founding chef of Turkey cooking, is a man called Ataturk,
He didn’t like halal meat, so his discard of Islam was no fluke.
Since he passed away the delicate recipe is always changing,
Many chefs have come and gone, but the newest needs some taming.
His name is Ed and he has some serious issues,
His ruling of the kitchen is put to much misuse.
As a chef he’s quite deliberate, and argues with the staff,
If one criticises, he tends to give them the shaft.
Ed also loves his bird halal, so forces everyone to have it,
Even if the meat is flavourless and flattened by a mallet.
But some of the others working in the kitchen said “no, we’ve had enough!”
This made Ed angry and now wants to get tough!
“You will eat my Turkey and no one is ever allowed to say it tastes like shit!”
“If you do, I’ll hunt you down and in a prison you will sit!”
Some defied the warnings of what feels like a regime of Gordan Ramsey,
And we know our dear Ed is willing to kill poor innocent bambi.
But after a shaded attempt at framing some of the waiters,
For their failed kitchen coup and other bad behaviours.
He now wants to subdue them to a kitchen styled death,
Oh how he resembles a Hitler styled Chef.
Whatever the outcome of the many staff now being cuffed,
We know this Turkey is well and truly stuffed.
And our dear Ed is on a steep diplomatic slope,
But you should know one thing, he did fuck a goat.